The last few weeks have been eventful and uneventful at the same time.
It has been uneventful in that work is just chugging along, to which destination is yet to be determined. In this respect it has become somewhat disheartening. I don’t feel particularly challenged, and whilst I still really like the majority of my colleagues (one leg of my Holy Trinity of Work Satisfaction), I don’t feel like I am learning anymore (another leg of the Holy Trinity). Things are definitely becoming stale.
The eventful aspect of my month has been the painful realisation that humanity can still be nasty. I was recently stabbed in the back by someone whom I considered both friend and colleague. I suspect it was more for her own professional gain rather than a vindictive, directed action against me. Unfortunately for her the rest of my team actually respect one another and were all somewhat shocked by her inappropriateness.
This has led me to question not only her motivation in doing what she did, but more generally our own motivations in doing what we do.
FYI. I don’t have the answer!
I suspect most of what we do is self-serving. But it goes deeper than that. The particular backstabbing colleague was in all sorts of distress just a fortnight prior to the incident. She wasn’t sure if she still had a job and created a fuss with her self-deprecating, woe-is-me attitude. So I asked her what was wrong. As it turns out, she has bills to pay (what, unlike the rest of us?), a career to build (ok…) and a sick mother to take care of.
So was that the problem then? The cause of her stress? Perhaps. Supposing that was the truth, then is her motivation really still self-serving? Should I feel sorry for her? Pity her?
Hmmm… I think I’ll just go back to looking out for Number 1.
* I will elaborate on the Holy Trinity of Work Satisfaction in another post.