You wouldn’t understand, it’s called fashion

I’ve never really understood Hong Kong fashion. It has always been kind of shit in my eyes.

But I think I have finally worked out why it is so bad. I was browsing a local (Chinese) website that is basically a collection of Chinese manufacturers peddling their super-cheap wares. There was definitely some cool stuff on this site, but you could say there was some equally messed up shit too.

The one particular item that got me thinking, and subsequently writing, was a PU leather shirt.

Let me paint a picture for you.

The PU stands for Polyurethane which is what most of those water bottles from camping stores are made of. PU Leather is also know as bycast leather or Pleather. When I say shirt, I mean a button up, oxford style slim-fit shirt. Now, why the feck would you want to put that piece of cling wrap on your body?

Population… Simply put, I think it all comes down to population. There are so many people here that average Joes need to find ways to stand out and to express themselves. And ultimately, it all boils down to sex. Here is my Freudian reasoning: If you’re an average looking guy, brought up in a culture that generally inhibits individualism (don’t get me wrong, it’s still much more liberal here than other parts of Asia), surrounded by people who more or less look like you (when was the last time you saw a naturally blonde Asian?) – What other options do you have?

Wait, screw the diversity aspect. Even those ‘secret’ pick up artist subcultures have a term for this type of behaviour. It is known as Peacocking.

It is the very reason why even average, white-boy chumps find so much success with attractive Asian women when they are here. I’m not hating though. Go for it I say. You are increasing our genetic diversity while getting your rocks off at the same time. Kudos to you!

I should be brutally honest here though. I have my own form of peacocking. It is my broad ocka (very Australian) accent. All I have to do is turn up the volume on a Saturday night down at Lan Kwai Fong and I get plenty of hot (albeit probably teenage) female attention. (*)

Interestingly, this peacocking behaviour and its associated fashion has transcended the average Joe of Hong Kong. It has moved beyond space and environment and can now be found in every Chinatown or Chinese population enclave anywhere in the world. Things have been made worse by the ease of travel between long distances. So much so I am resigned to the fact that it is unstoppable.

I am constantly excusing my people to those who don’t get it. I do this because I get it, and so does Marky Mark:

(*) I’ve taken zero action as I am currently learning how to become a pickup artist and also how to generally treat women like trash

Post Script: While I’m on the topic of ocka Aussie accents, I have a gripe with the Asians back home in Sydney. In particular, the ones from South Western Sydney and the general Marrickville area: It’s called SNOW, not Snows. It is a non-count noun, which means both plural and singular are the same. Many of you are giving birth now, it’s just irresponsible parenting to teach your offspring to say snows. Got it?